Every year, my work has a pumpkin carving contest. Each section carves and decorates a pumpkin. Customers vote for a favourite. The winning section gets a prize. This year it is breakfast either cooked by our manager or he’ll take us out for breakfast.

This is the third pumpkin I’ve carved for my section. We’ve never won. Usually we come in second last. Probably because my pumpkins tend to be a little, um, odd. The first pumpkin had a pair of hands holding a blood filled chalise sticking out of the top of the pumpkin. The second, I cut up a toy stuffed cat and nailed the head, arms, legs and tail to the pumpkin. Then I removed a squeeze-activated voice box from the toy’s body and stuffed it in the head. Added a sign telling people to squeeze the cat’s head. They did that all day long, and each time a tinny cat’s voice cried “mew mew mew”. It came in second last.

This year I’m hoping the more whimsical “Pumpkin Miranda” will get us a better result.

I’ll let you know how it works out!